Opting Out

I woke up this morning to sick kids and for once did not have a big trauma trying to get the day started. I had planned to work from home today, didn't have any important calls to make and don't have any immediate project deadlines. I was able to fairly easily take the day off and take them to the doctor's office.

While I was lucky this time, I was again reminded of one of the most challenging parts of working, particularly when your kids are young. Not everyone can just take the day off like I did, most working parents have to take a sick day. It is tough to have a back-up plan for a sick kid.

Sick kids are one of many obstacles that lead many parents, particularly professional women, to "opt-out" of the workforce and stay home. I have talked to many stay-at-home moms who have quit working in frustration. Employers with inflexible work environments, coupled with a society that lacks quality day care (particluarly sick child care) and school/activity schedules that conflict with most work schedules lead many to stay home if they can figure out how to make it financially. At times this has made complete sense to me. If your husband works and makes good money, why not just stay home?

Well, I finally started reading Leslie Bennett's "The Feminine Mistake" and I am starting to become more convinced that staying home is not a wise move. While it makes sense on every most other fronts, from the financial perspective, I don't think most women really consider the ramifications of a decision to drop out of the workforce.

While most stay-at-home moms I know have a happy marriage, divorce is not the only way to lose a spouse's income. Through death or disability, you could find yourself in a position that you need to support yourself and your children. And the longer you are out of the workforce, the harder it is to get back in. I met a woman last year at a career search workshop that was devasted when her husband became disabled and she needed to return to full-time work after over a dozen years at home. She found that she was barely qualified for an entry level position, let alone the type of job that would replace her husband's income that he had grown to through twenty years of professional experience.

At the very least, stay-at-home moms (and dads) must take steps to keep their skills sharp. The best approach is to continue working at least some. A project here and there coupled with continuing education to keep expertise and relevant certifications up-to-date goes a long way to help keep you marketable. A decision to stay at home must also include a plan to keep yourself from becoming completely ecoomically dependent.