Maternity Leave

A friend who is considering having a second child asked me about how I handled maternity leave with both of my kids. My situation is somewhat unique as I mostly work for myself, so I could determine my own plan (however- if I don't work- I don't get paid!). I was also limited some because of my college teaching obligations, I can take a whole semester off, but I cannot start teaching mid-semester.

Most parents are limited by their employers policies. If an employer has more than 50 employees, new parents can take up to 12 weeks off for a new child, but it is often unpaid (under the Family Medical Leave Act). Smaller employers tend to offer even less.

Given the option, I chose a shorter maternity leave. My friend was suprised, and seemed to feel badly for me. As if I had no other option and was forced to begin working again. However, my decision was not a financial one, it was a mental health one.

I felt that if I went cold turkey on work for three months, it would be more difficult to transition back to work. Further, working could give me the mental break I needed from the all consuming role as the mother of a very needy newborn.

My son was born first and I was working on my dissertation. I didn't take him to a sitter, but I did start working on my project again within a few weeks of his birth. When he slept, I worked. Or sometimes if I needed to read an article for my research- I read it aloud to him if he was awake. The way the semester fell, it was around his 3rd month that I started teaching again, only one class the first semester back.

My daughter was born in the summer and the next semester started when she was around 5 or 6 weeks. Not wanting to wait an entire semester to get back to it, I taught one class. It was an evening class so she was in my husband's hands while I was away.

Other moms have said to me, "how awful" that I had to return to working so quickly. But for me, I think it worked out well. I was able to ease back into it, only really working a few hours each week. And those few hours of intellectual stimulation helped save my sanity!

I am often suprised at how judgemental people are about others' decisions regarding their children. While no one has flat out accused me of being a bad mom because I returned to work before I "had" to, I've felt the judgement of others and have even found myself apologizing or trying to justify my decision. But the truth is, I did what I thought was best for me and my kids. I know I won't always make the best decision, but does anyone ever do anything perfect? If they think they do, they are probably wrong.