"Soccer Mom" flames Mommy Wars

Many suggest that the Mommy Wars are just an exaggeration of the media. That is, they say that the much publicized debate on who is a better mom, one that stays-at-home or one that works, is the media's attempt to spark controversy where little exists.

Well, the online response to TLC's "Secret Life of a Soccer Mom" suggests that maybe there really is some tension between these two groups. Or rather, at least there are many bitter stay-at-home moms (SAHM's) out there who seem to be personally offended by those who work. A recent Newsweek article (here), discusses some of the controversy, sharing some of the comments from SAHM's including one that suggests going to work is 'child abandonment.'

My biggest problem with this show, and the reason that it has sparked such controversy, is that the show suggests that you must choose- be a mom or be a career woman. While it is true that some women choose to only be a mom, I don't know any mom that chooses only to be a career woman. Any mom who has a career is just that, a MOM THAT ALSO HAS A CAREER!

What the show doesn't demonstrate is how you can make it work. Each time a mom on the show is offered a job, it is a full-time opportunity, with an emphasis on long hours and time away from her kids. They don't attempt to offer her a job with some flexibility, or maybe even a part-time opportunity to re-enter the workforce. Workforce re-entry can be stressful, and to go from being home full-time to an 'extreme job' where you don't see your children much is unrealistic. So I am not suprised that most of the women have turned down the jobs offered. And what a demoralizing message that sends to women out there who might be at home right now, considering returning to work.