The debate on whether or not to work is still a women's issue. The fact that men aren't faced with this dilemma is a complex story that I won't get into at this point. It is encouraging that more men are staying at home, but for now, we are only facing Mommy Wars.
The Mommy Wars is the ongoing debate on who is a better parent, a working mom or a stay-at-home mom? Much media debate has occurred on both sides and many variations on the argument exist. Generally working moms say they are better because they are economically independent and are teaching their children many things such as the value of hard work. Generally stay-at-home moms argue that they don't want their children raised by someone else and working is doing a disservice to your children.
I refuse to engage in the debate. I am a working mom, and think I've made the right choice for myself. However, I respect those that choose to stay-at-home. (I do believe, however, that stay-at-home moms should make an effort to keep themselves marketable to the outside working world should illness, death or divorce require them to return to work.)
I won't engage in the debate because I believe it is a waste of our time and energy. There will always be stay-at-home moms and working moms. What we need to focus on is finding more opportunities to create a middle ground. The middle ground, what I call family friendly work, is an opportunity to have meaningful work and spend the quality time you want with your kids.
More and more moms are finding that middle ground, however, many still insist on engaging in this debate. What bothers me the most is that there are many stay-at-home moms that are really working moms. For example, they might run an online business or do direct sales, but still advocate their view that only stay-at-home moms are good moms. In fact, in reviewing some articles on the topic, I found an ABC news article where one of the "stay-at-home" moms had started a magazine (see article)!
That is my goal in advocating for family friendly work. There is no reason to judge others on their personal choices. If you want to spend some time trying to build a better world for children, then use your energy to try to convince more companies to offer flexible work, or encourage more parents to start demanding what they need!
