Financial Dependence

So yesterday I caught an episode of Oprah. I like Oprah, but often find that she wastes time on trivial issues. (I caught one episode dedicated to how to find a pair of jeans that fit you- now I know that this is an important issue to many women- but it seems odd that the next day the show would be dedicated to something as diametric as child molestation).

Yesterday's show caught my attention as it focused on a stay-at-home mom whose world was turned upside down. (This link should take you to the story). The episode shared the story of Sylvia who had been in an abusive marriage for more than 15 years that produced four children. She stayed because she didn't think she could make it on her own. Her family lived a luxurious lifestyle that she later found was beyond their means.

It all came to an end when her husband committed suicide. As a final gesture of abuse, three months prior to his death her husband stopped paying the bills including the mortgage and his life insurance. So upon his death, she had nearly $500,000 in debt, and less than $100 in her savings account. She also had no job and had not worked in more than 12 years.

This is a tragic story, but the good thing of Sylvia sharing her story with Oprah is that she was given the assitance of the well-known financial advisor Suze Orman who seemed to have a plan to help her. That plan involved moving from her huge 5 bedroom home into a one bedroom apartment. It also resulted in asking family and friends for help both financially and taking care of her children.

But there are many other Sylvias out there who don't get the help. Most relationships don't end in this manner, but I would guess that this was not Sylvia's plan when she decided to stay home with her kids. An extreme? Yes, but even a less tragic version of these events could create a lot of trauma for a mom forced to provide for her children without the skills and experience to do so.