Being a Role Model

I've met many parents who believe that the way to be a good parent is to always 'be there' and to do everything for your kids. They think that the only way to show true love for your kids is to show self-sacrifice.

Well, I don't agree. I'm not a parenting expert, but it seems that the kids that I see who have parents that put their kids before themselves tend to be self-centered and often mis-behaved. I am continuing to read the Love and Logic book I mentioned last week, and it seems these parenting experts agree with me. Below is an excerpt (Cline & Fay, 2006, Pinon Press, p. 14):

"If parents take good care of themselves, then children have a good chance of growing up to be adults who take care of themselves. When parents always put the children first, they risk putting themsleves last and raising entitled, demanding children (better known as spoiled brats)."

While work is certainly not the only way to put yourself first, it certainly is one way to make sure you lead a happy fulfilled life. I've talked to several stay-at-home parents who love their children and enjoy the opportunity to be at home with them, but feel like they are missing something. They question whether it is the self-fulfillment you get by engaging in paid work that you enjoy.

I know that I am a better parent because I work. I feel satisfied with myself, and as a result, I am more pleasant to be around for my kids. Further, I think I am setting a good example for them by showing them that you can be a good mom, who is around a lot, who also has a successful career. I hope for the same for them when they grow-up.