At the Massachusetts conference earlier this week, I had the opportunity to meet some extraordinary women doing some inspiring work. One of my fellow panelists, Cooper Munroe of TheMotherhood.com discussed the nature and power of online networking. She shared several stories, including the success of her and her partner’s blogging response to Hurricane Katrina and the immense amount of relief they coordinated that likely went beyond what many governmental agencies provided (read about what they accomplished here).
I have always been an advocate for networking, and obviously attending a conference such as this provides a great networking opportunity. But, Cooper’s stories started me thinking about ways we can better use the Internet to network to help us succeed in what we want to do.
In my quest to keep my work family friendly, at the very least online networking has allowed me to reach out to others to simply commiserate. But our online friends can also help us build confidence, prepare our resumes or even identify the right contacts at a company we want to target. And networking online is certainly more family friendly than in-person networking as you can do it on your own schedule.
There are many sites out there, some for moms such as www.workitmom.com. There are others targeted at parents such as www.cleverparents.com. I also suggest looking for local sites to network, either through your community or your profession. And finally, make sure you check out Cooper’s site www.TheMotherhood.com as a great place to get started building your online network.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The Feminine Mistake
I just returned from the Massachusetts’s Conference for Women where I spoke on a panel “Embracing the Chaos.” It was a great conference, providing resources and guidance for women with varying backgrounds and ages. More on that later.
I had the opportunity to hear from Leslie Bennett who wrote “The Feminine Mistake.” (See her website here). She was on a panel talking about “Opting Out” of the workforce, and while the rest of the panel seemed very optimistic about career re-entry after you make the decision to stay home, she was not necessarily so positive.
Leslie referred to the decision to stay home as the choice to become economically dependent. She shared several stories of women in their 50’s and 60’s who enjoyed staying at home with their children, but later found themselves near poverty following the death, disability or the divorce of their husband.
I haven’t read her book yet, but I plan to pick it up. She built some arguments that I feel were somewhat persuasive. While I sometimes feel guilty for working, Leslie argued essentially that you should feel guilty if you are not working. She also suggested we are wasting our time worrying about things we shouldn’t worry about- such as being the “perfect” mom. As she suggested, is it really so important to send homemade cupcakes to your kid’s school when you are the “snack mom?”
I’ll write further on this once I’ve read the book…..
I had the opportunity to hear from Leslie Bennett who wrote “The Feminine Mistake.” (See her website here). She was on a panel talking about “Opting Out” of the workforce, and while the rest of the panel seemed very optimistic about career re-entry after you make the decision to stay home, she was not necessarily so positive.
Leslie referred to the decision to stay home as the choice to become economically dependent. She shared several stories of women in their 50’s and 60’s who enjoyed staying at home with their children, but later found themselves near poverty following the death, disability or the divorce of their husband.
I haven’t read her book yet, but I plan to pick it up. She built some arguments that I feel were somewhat persuasive. While I sometimes feel guilty for working, Leslie argued essentially that you should feel guilty if you are not working. She also suggested we are wasting our time worrying about things we shouldn’t worry about- such as being the “perfect” mom. As she suggested, is it really so important to send homemade cupcakes to your kid’s school when you are the “snack mom?”
I’ll write further on this once I’ve read the book…..
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Freecycling
As I have mentioned before, being "green" and being "family friendly" truly goes hand-in-hand. Efforts that protect the earth seems to coincide with efforts to protect our family values.
As such, those interested in family friendly work may find some value in freecycling. In your efforts to minimize your financial obligations, you should attempt to procure things you need (or think you need) at the best prices. So how about free?
That is the idea with freecycling. The Freecycle Network originated in Tuscon, AZ in 2003. Since then the network has grown to over 4,000 groups around the world. Anyone can become a freecycler. Basically you join a local group, and when you have something that you are considering throwing away, you instead list it to your freecycle group.
In return, you receive messages from your group of their discarded treasures which you can pick-up if you are the first to respond. You can freecycle clothes, home items, yard supplies, equipment, etc. You can responsibly dispose of pretty much anything around your house, and in return, can often pick up things you might need.
The bottom line is that you can save money by picking up for free some things that you might otherwise spend money on. And meanwhile, you help minimize contributions to your local landfill. Check out the Freecycle Network at www.freecycle.org.
As such, those interested in family friendly work may find some value in freecycling. In your efforts to minimize your financial obligations, you should attempt to procure things you need (or think you need) at the best prices. So how about free?
That is the idea with freecycling. The Freecycle Network originated in Tuscon, AZ in 2003. Since then the network has grown to over 4,000 groups around the world. Anyone can become a freecycler. Basically you join a local group, and when you have something that you are considering throwing away, you instead list it to your freecycle group.
In return, you receive messages from your group of their discarded treasures which you can pick-up if you are the first to respond. You can freecycle clothes, home items, yard supplies, equipment, etc. You can responsibly dispose of pretty much anything around your house, and in return, can often pick up things you might need.
The bottom line is that you can save money by picking up for free some things that you might otherwise spend money on. And meanwhile, you help minimize contributions to your local landfill. Check out the Freecycle Network at www.freecycle.org.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Be Proud of Your Work
I recently spoke to another working mom that seemed to not to want to admit that she was in fact a working mom. This woman made the decision to leave the corporate world and become a stay-at-home mom after her first child was born. However, she enjoyed her work as a marketing executive and ended up running a small consulting business working with companies to develop their marketing campaigns. Her business was not full-time, she only worked a couple of days each week, but it was none-the-less successful. She told me, however, that she was "just a stay-at-home mom" for several years. Only after some further discussion did I learn about her business.
I've seen this so many times. Women who are proud to be stay-at-home moms that seem to hate to admit that in addition to this role, they actually do some work that brings in some income for their families. Why is this? I know in my community, there seems to be more stay-at-home moms than working moms of the pre-schoolers I know. I am curious if to some extent it is a 'status' feeling. That is, do some feel that that it is important for others to know they don't need to work?
For me, obviously being a mom is an important part of my identity. But my work is also part of who I am. And I think that is a good thing. I think it helps me be less stressed because I feel I haven't totally lost myself in this process of becoming a parent. Am I wrong here?
I've seen this so many times. Women who are proud to be stay-at-home moms that seem to hate to admit that in addition to this role, they actually do some work that brings in some income for their families. Why is this? I know in my community, there seems to be more stay-at-home moms than working moms of the pre-schoolers I know. I am curious if to some extent it is a 'status' feeling. That is, do some feel that that it is important for others to know they don't need to work?
For me, obviously being a mom is an important part of my identity. But my work is also part of who I am. And I think that is a good thing. I think it helps me be less stressed because I feel I haven't totally lost myself in this process of becoming a parent. Am I wrong here?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Holiday Stress
While most people look forward to the holiday season, working parents often see the season as just another source of stress in their lives. The key to surviving, or maybe even enjoying the holidays is to approach the season with a plan on minimizing the stress.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Involve your kids as much as possible in your holiday preparations. Even a toddler can put labels on greeting card envelopes or help tape the wrapping paper on gifts. While kids might slow down the process a little, involving them gives you a chance to spend some extra time with them while getting some holiday work completed.
- Consider where you can cut back. Can you do four strings of lights in your front yard instead of 20 strings? Can you cut back on your gift list? Over the last few years I've had important discussions with many family and friends to suggest that we would enjoy the holidays more if we didn't exchange gifts. Or, we participate in more gift exchanges instead of buying for everyone (i.e. all of the cousins just pick one name instead of buying for every cousin).
- Attack your holiday shopping with a plan. Have a specific list of gifts you want to get and do some online exploring before you head out to the stores so you don't waste too much time looking around for the best deals. I try to do all of my shopping in one day. It makes for a long day, but saves many other trips.
- Speaking of online, do as much shopping as you can online. You can save a lot of time, and often a lot of money by searching for gifts online. Further, you can shop at odd hours such as late night or early morning when stores aren't open, but you might have some free time.
- Don't neglect yourself in the process. Keep eating right and exercising to keep yourself healthy. There is nothing worse than trying to make it through holiday parties if you don't feel well.
Don't allow yourself to get so caught up in the "work" of the holidays so that you do not enjoy this festive time of the year. If you have a plan to attack the holiday season, you can enjoy the holidays with your family.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Involve your kids as much as possible in your holiday preparations. Even a toddler can put labels on greeting card envelopes or help tape the wrapping paper on gifts. While kids might slow down the process a little, involving them gives you a chance to spend some extra time with them while getting some holiday work completed.
- Consider where you can cut back. Can you do four strings of lights in your front yard instead of 20 strings? Can you cut back on your gift list? Over the last few years I've had important discussions with many family and friends to suggest that we would enjoy the holidays more if we didn't exchange gifts. Or, we participate in more gift exchanges instead of buying for everyone (i.e. all of the cousins just pick one name instead of buying for every cousin).
- Attack your holiday shopping with a plan. Have a specific list of gifts you want to get and do some online exploring before you head out to the stores so you don't waste too much time looking around for the best deals. I try to do all of my shopping in one day. It makes for a long day, but saves many other trips.
- Speaking of online, do as much shopping as you can online. You can save a lot of time, and often a lot of money by searching for gifts online. Further, you can shop at odd hours such as late night or early morning when stores aren't open, but you might have some free time.
- Don't neglect yourself in the process. Keep eating right and exercising to keep yourself healthy. There is nothing worse than trying to make it through holiday parties if you don't feel well.
Don't allow yourself to get so caught up in the "work" of the holidays so that you do not enjoy this festive time of the year. If you have a plan to attack the holiday season, you can enjoy the holidays with your family.
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